What Going Private for My ADHD Diagnosis Taught Me About Poverty and Privilege
What Going Private for My ADHD Diagnosis Taught Me About Poverty and Privilege
Introduction
Honestly, if my 30th birthday hadn't been looming over me, I probably would've chosen the Right to Choose pathway. But feeling like the world was pressing down on me, and hearing I might wait months, I knew I had a decision to make.
I'd already spent thousands on self-development—my personal training course, degrees, SEO course, coding courses, and countless others that remain unfinished (thanks, ADHD dopamine hits). So I thought, "I don't have loads of money, but what do I have to lose?"
This decision became urgent after seeing my GP, who recommended Right to Choose and said she'd get back to me. But after waiting and feeling left in the dark, I decided enough was enough. I have dreams, ambitions, and goals—I couldn't afford to wait any longer.
Still, this raised a big question I know many people face: What if I hadn't had the option to go private? I don't have children, and I have family support as a safety net (though reluctantly), so I felt almost obligated to take the private route and free up space for someone who genuinely needed the NHS route.
A quote I saw on Reddit:
"It took me approx 10 years in total to finally get my diagnosis. Shitty but worth it in the end. I'm glad everything I said for so many years was right and that I kept going despite lots of tears and getting super depressed. Meds have been ace, especially that first day of quiet 🥰. Made some big life changes and now using my diagnosis to help young people with ADHD etc in education. Waiting for anything is horrible but the wait for this was particularly bonkers 😅❤️
In case anyone is wondering why 10 years... Symptoms put down to anxiety and depression, endless pointless counselling, doctors not listening, everything blamed on weight, and admin errors. One doctor said I was too old. Eventually, I was referred in 2020 but it got rejected due to funding. It took years, getting lost in the system, until I finally got diagnosed last year after signing my care over to my husband."
My Experience Going Private
I called various ADHD providers and chose ADHD 360 simply because they answered the phone. Every time I called, speaking to the staff was easy, most of them have ADHD too, which made everything smoother and meant you could also have a nice chat and they’d be up for it. From registering on their portal to my assessment, it took just one week, and within six days after my assessment, I had my medication. In total, it took about two weeks from first contact to medication.
If I'd relied on the NHS, I might have been waiting years. Right to Choose promises shorter wait times, but even then, it can take months. The uncertainty would have been overwhelming for me.
To illustrate: I'd prefer an airport clearly announcing a one-hour delay over waiting just 20 minutes with no updates. Uncertainty is worse than a specified delay, to me.
Yes, going private cost me a significant amount of money. I paid £1,350 upfront, around £130 a month for medication, and face a £450 annual renewal fee.
Yet, the immediate improvements in my quality of life are priceless. Within minutes of medication, it felt like I'd finally unlocked a door that had been chained shut my entire life. It was overwhelming but liberating.
One of the biggest improvements for me has been in my anxiety and negative self-talk. I still have those moments, yet now I can park them and actually focus on what matters. For example, I've always struggled with body odour, which I now realise was likely linked to anxiety. I still sweat, but my armpits are basically odourless now, something I never thought was possible.
This wasn’t just something I noticed—it was so strange I even messaged my sister Nicole that same day. Here’s what I sent her:
"Gonna see how the meds work later. Usually I get super flustered, let’s see if I can handle this today. I’m excited. Usually I get anxious, but I’m like bring it on."
A few hours later:
"Best day ever we’ve had together. My word, the difference."
And then:
"My armpit stink has gone too. That shit has plagued my whole life and now it’s fucking gone like that."
It was real. Tangible. Physical. The anxiety that had once ruled my nervous system was dialled down enough to let me breathe and apparently, even smell better.
The Hidden Privilege and Costs
For many with ADHD, holding down steady employment is tough—time blindness, anxiety, overwhelm, sensitivity to criticism, memory issues. Thus having spare thousands of pounds lying around is unrealistic for a lot of people, especially those who need the most help.
This leaves many with no choice but to wait endlessly on the NHS or try Right to Choose. I know many like myself won’t even bother, because you’re sitting there thinking, "What’s the point?" and "I don’t want to deal with all the admin and chasing the GP." Even the thought is making me feel uneasy, and that’s whilst being on medication.
This shows how society still treats mental health as a secondary issue, rather than the critical health issue it truly is. Stigma around ADHD makes this worse, with people often believing ADHD isn't real or suggesting sufferers simply need to "try harder."
The Effects of Being Poor and Undiagnosed
Untreated ADHD can lead to career instability, poor mental health, substance abuse, and relationship difficulties. Over time, these problems compound, making unemployment more likely and poverty harder to escape. Reflecting on my own life, I worry about where I might've ended up without treatment. Like many people with ADHD, I consider myself ‘intelligent,’ but for reasons I can’t explain, things never seemed to click for me.
It’s also worth noting that a significant number of people in prison are believed to have undiagnosed ADHD. Maybe it’s down to drug addiction or other issues, but how many of them would be in a different situation if they'd received the right support?
The prevalence of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) among people in the Criminal Justice System is believed to be around ten times that of the general population, with around 25% of adults in prison having ADHD compared to 2.5% of adults in the general population (Young & Cocallis, 2021).
Source.
Society Punishes Poverty
Ultimately, mental healthcare remains locked behind financial barriers. We're told prevention is better than cure, yet essential mental health support remains inaccessible for many.
Podcasts, particularly in men's self-help and entrepreneurial spaces, frequently argue that mental health struggles are "western luxuries" or matters of personal responsibility. But how fair is it for monkeys to tell fish to climb trees? This mentality ignores systemic issues.
It's a vicious cycle: poverty worsens mental health, untreated mental health reinforces poverty, and society does little to break this cycle.
Conclusion
Privilege should never dictate access to adequate mental health care—or any health care, for that matter. It should be a universal right, not a luxury. It’s crazy to think it’s 2025 and yes, we’re better off than centuries ago, yet this all still feels very outdated. Hopefully, in years to come, we’ll look back at this like we look at other tragedies humanity has caused in the past.
If we genuinely want more people to meaningfully contribute to society, we need to ensure they're equipped with the tools to do so. People deserve support, dignity, and empowerment, not stigma and shame.
Of course, I want more funding for the NHS. I want legally enforced maximum wait times—three months should be the limit, in my opinion.
But if I could push for just one change, it would be far better education on what ADHD actually is. Better understanding could be the catalyst for everything else. A year ago, I didn’t even know what ‘ADHD’ was.
People criticise social media and claim "everyone" is self-diagnosing. Yes, I have my issues with social media, but in this case? I think it’s amazing. People are talking. They're recognising patterns in themselves and seeking help. Maybe GPs don’t like it, but people are finally getting somewhere.
And the best part? It’s not just boys being recognised anymore. Women are finally spotting ADHD in themselves. I remember when it was only seen as a "boy thing.” That meant girls and women were left to struggle silently (many still are, sadly), often told to get over it or handed antidepressants when what they really needed was proper assessment and support. Whatever your take on social media, it’s helping. Long may that continue.